#scarecrow x catwoman

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

SCAREDY CAT

KINKTOBER DAY 14 - PET PLAY WITH JONATHAN CRANE

Pairing.| Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary.| You are Catwoman, you’ve heard word of Scarecrow’s fear toxin and want it for yourself. However he had already anticipated this and desired a kitten of his own.

Warnings.| Dubcon, p in v, head f!receving, rough sex. scratching, pet play (not extreme), stockholm syndrome, abduction, drugging, pet names.

Word Count.| 2.3k

Notes.| I really did have the most fun writing my Jonathan stories, I won't lie. But this one is for you my love, @paradiseprincesss

Jonathan huffed as he slammed the door behind him, He shook his damp, dark hair, droplets of rain sprinkling onto his clean floors and walls as he slid off his coat. After a long draining day at work, there was only one thing that could make him feel better. Relaxing with his kitten. But returning home always started off as a game of hide and seek.

As he called out your name, his voice echoed down the hall. There was never a blissful response from you. After taking off his shoes and neatly placing them by the door, Jonathan picked up his briefcase and wandered down the floorboards in search of you. “Here, kitty kitty” Jonathan clicked his tongue as he dropped his suitcase on the kitchen table. 

Poking his head around many rooms, he ended up in his office, smiling as he spotted you from the gap under his desk. Not wanting to frighten you, he called out your name calmingly. Turning the corner, he poked his head underneath his desk. A wide cheshire cat smile grew on his lips. “There you are kitten” Jonathan chuckled at you, his head tilted and blue eyes wide as he looked down at you.

Once upon a time, you were the infamous Catwoman of Gotham City. The rumors of a mad Doctor possessing an anxiogenic drug which induces intense irrational fear to its users felt too good to be true. In Gotham City, you had too many enemies. Getting your paws on that toxin would literally scare those enemies far away. 

The plan was foolproof, break into his office and still a couple (or more) of doses. Arkham Asylum was a nuthouse, the Doctor would never have any time to reside in his office, surely. But, your accomplice ratted you out for an easy paycheck. Turns out that the Doctor of Fear admired your work immensely, and found joy in you wanting a taste of his fear toxin, so he obliged in that personally. 

Jonathan kept you in a hidden room in the asylum for weeks, months even. His other patients lacked treatment on his behalf, because he was too obsessed with experimenting with you. However, when he’d return home after a long day, he found himself missing you. The big house he comfortingly slept alone in, suddenly felt empty. So, he trained you to act more domestically for him. This way he’d be able to focus on his other areas of work and feel the gleeful emotions of coming home. 

Therefore, you were curled up into a ball up against the wooden boarding as you batted your glossy eyes at him. Wearing nothing more than a short black skirt, cropped white blouse and black collar with a clear jewel dangling from it. The heating wasn’t on so Jonathan pouted his sympathy for your coldness as your body shivered. He should have dressed you warmer for today. 

With his hand out towards you, as if you call you towards him, Jonathan made kissy noises. Fingers rubbing together, Jonathan tilted his head forward, a warning for if he had to crawl under to get to you. Gradually, you got on all fours and crawled out from the desk.

“Let’s take your medication” Jonathan announced as he opened his arms for you. 

Timidly, you reached out for him and he lifted you up, your legs wrapped around the small of his back as he carried you to the kitchen, your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as he hummed in satisfaction. His hand rested just below your bare ass, Jonathan didn’t want you to ever wear panties. 

Placing you on top of the island in the kitchen, he pulled a key out of his pocket for a locked hanging cabinet. He unlocked the door and retrieved a small white plastic pill container. To accompany your medicine, he grabbed a fresh water bottle from the fridge and cracked it open. Willingingly, you drank from the water bottle and slipped the blue pill into your mouth, swallowing it after a few seconds. Cautiously, Jonathan inspected your mouth, nodding his head with a wide grin of satisfaction afterwards. 

He didn’t want to, but he had to keep you drugged up. Because one time you almost scratched his eyes out. The faint scar on his left cheekbone can prove that. Even though Jonathan admired your robustness, he couldn’t risk going to work with a clawed up face everyday. So, he produced a unique sedative mixed with a sliver of fear toxin to keep you physically delayed like a fat cat. But mentally on all four paws, just like a scaredy cat. 

The variation of the fear toxin was intriguing however. Whenever Jonathan displayed negative emotions towards you, his figment would appear sinister. Yet, if he was warm towards you, the illusion of him would urge the thought of being looked after by him. 

Jonathan looked at the cat bowl on the floor, still full of the food he filled it with this morning. Slowly his eyes turned back onto you and you hid your face in between your hands. His fingertips slipped underneath your collar as he pulled your neck closer to him. 

“You haven’t eaten today, kitten?” Jonathan cocked an eyebrow at you, sighing softly in disappointment. 

“The medicine rids my appetite” you mumbled, your voice hoarse due to a lack of speaking. Sniffling at him, you felt the fresh dose of fear toxin prick at your nerves. 

“Bad kitty, what did I tell you?” Jonathan tutted towards you, his voice turned sinister as the toxin took effect. 

“But it makes me feel sick” you whimpered back, blinking your prickling eyes at him. 

“Because you haven’t eaten properly in days” he shot back harshly, his white fangs flaring at you. It was the toxin, but you always struggled to see the lining between real and illusion.  

However, it was more so weeks, months, since the moment of your abduction really… This new accidental diet of yours has made you drop a fair amount of weight. The drugs suppress your appetite frequently, not that you were ever keen to be on all fours as you ate below him. 

You tried to slip off the bench, a growing urge to satisfy him by forcing the food down your tightening throat. But Jonathan blocked you in between him with his arms. 

“No, no… It’d be stale and sickening now. Gonna have to wait until dinner time kitten” Jonathan explained, his nose running up your neck slowly as he inhaled your scent. 

Goosebumps populated over your cold skin. The sound of his breathing echoed down your eardrums as you closed your eyes. Gently, Jonathan kissed your jawline, casually making his way over to your soft lips. The kiss was passionate yet tender. Hesitantly, your arms wrapped around his upper back. When he didn’t react, you tightened the hold, exhaling in relief. 

“Was thinking of just ordering something in, I can’t be bothered cooking tonight, it was such a stressful day kitten, work can be really draining sometimes” Jonathan spoke in between kisses. 

Honestly, he didn’t have much of an appetite either. His hunger was craving you instead. With his hands running over your bare stomach, your ass slipped to the edge, legs wrapping around his stomach due to his shorter height. 

“I can cook something for you” you offered in a shaking voice, your hands holding onto his upper body for support. Jonathan cocked an eyebrow to you and pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Really? Oh that would be so kind of you, my good kitty” Jonathan complimented as he brushed your hair behind your ears.  

You’d need his assistance, or at least to be watched over. He still didn’t trust you, especially with a knife in arms reach. But the thought of you willingly wanting to do something for him was sweet. Speaking of sweet- 

“Let your owner feel your sweet pussy” Jonathan grumbled as bent over his body, hands cupping underneath your cheeks. 

“Yes Jonathan” you sighed, propping your elbows behind you in support. 

Jonathan bent his hip down as he admired your pussy, his own claws dug into your outer thighs. Firstly, he deeply breathed in your sweet scent. Then stubbornly, his tongue ran up and down your cunt. Jonathan was always too eager to eat you out. The skills and methods of his tongue could not be taught. This was pure talent which could never be duplicated. It was humiliating to admit that Jonathan was your best lover. The cocky bastard knew he was as well, no other man would even try to compete if they saw the movements of his tongue alone. 

You never bothered to shy away from your moans. Jonathan told you from the beginning that you might as well make the best out of your new living conditions. Your nails scratched over the marble as you tried to find something to grip onto. Needily, your hands slipped into his dark locks, tugging roughly at his roots. 

“You like this, yeah? Being taken care of by me?” Jonathan groaned against your cunt, his cock desperately twitching in his pants as his hips squirmed. 

You quickly nodded your head to him, purring out your answer. But you whined out when his cold lips popped off of your dripping lips. His lean body raised up, already smirking at you as he unbuckled his belt. As you propped yourself back onto your elbows, Jonathan’s pants dropped to his knees, his boxers scrunched up at his mid thigh as he stroked his cock slowly. You’re pulled off the island and flipped around, your chest pressed into the cold marble as you stood on your tippy toes. 

“Yeah… You love my big cock too don’t you?” Jonathan murmured as he lined up his throbbing length to your entrance. 

“Yes Jonathan, I love your cock so much” you purred deeply. 

With a cheeky grin, Jonathan pushed his tip inside of you. After a few seconds of smiling to yourselves, Jonathan pushed himself into your warmth, inch by inch. Biting at his lower lip, his hands rested on your lower back, ready to pound into you as if life depended on it. 

When he did commence his rough thrusts, your arms snaked back to hold your hips up as your claves felt like they were on fire. Jonathan huffed and flipped you around once more. As you were pulled up by your thighs, you wrapped your calves around his lower back as yours was shoved into the edge of the bench. Hissing out, your hands slid up the back of his button up shirt. Your claws dug into his bare back, Jonathan snarled out, but the smile was euphoric. The sound of his balls slapping against your sensitive skin echoed throughout the kitchen. The both of you were panting as you felt your orgasm climb up your walls. 

“Ugh! I’m so glad you broke into my office! Can’t believe the infamous catwoman fell into my arms. I couldn’t report you, no, no… They’d treat you like an animal” Jonathan whined out, his cock twitched in your velvet walls. 

Being his little pet was a privilege, in his devilish blue eyes at least. He’d feed you (as if he’s drug wasn’t an issue), bathe you, cloth you (sort of), caress you and most importantly, fuck you. Everyday he’d make sure that you’d experience multiple orgasms. Because his kitten deserved the finest life. 

All you had to do was, well, act like a cat for the most part. Yes, there were times where he would allow your humanity to show by walking on two feet, or eating at the dining table. And gosh, he'd never by a bag of cat litter for you. But Jonathan wanted you to stick to your alter ego. Some days he’d let you wear your mask, just to remind you of your past. My, sometimes he'd even wear his own mask too to really get into the scene of it all. It was tormenting however, it made you want to search for a way out of this prison. But you knew the consequences of that by now. If you were disobedient, he’d discipline you, more humanly though. A proper spanking always got his point across. 

Jonathan liked to have you sleep at the end of his bed every night. On some nights -if he was feeling rather generous- he’d allow you to crawl up and sleep on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat easily got you to sleep. He’d often wake up to you purring against his chest. 

Yes, being Jonathan’s kitten wasn’t your worst outcome. It was thoughtful of him, to indulge in your past life. It was much better than being one of his patients in Arkham, that's for sure. Gotham City was a fearful city, he was just protecting you from the many dangers at the end of the day. You were his to protect now, to love and own. 

That mind of his was ingenious, he always knew how to time it for you both to finish in unison. Jonathan moaned out as his ropes of white shot deep into your canal, his head fell against your neck as he suckled at your heated skin. You held onto him for dear life, feeling the aftermath waves of pleasure from your own orgasm. The fresh claw marks would add to the personal art piece of your creativity. But Jonathan loved it, his back and his chest were the only areas he gave you permission to mark. 

As Jonathan took in a deep breath, he lifted his head from the crook of your neck and lowered you to your feet. Jonathan smiled down at you as he readjusted his glasses, lenses all foggy from your activity. You nuzzled your nose against his face, a soft smile on your lips. 

“Come on then kitty, make us a lovely meal before I get hungry for you again” he purred by your ear.

[liliesdiary]

Scarecrow x Cat Woman

"you're catnip to a girl like me"

3:33

[nxtaliaistyping]

Batrogues | p links part two

(gotta be logged into twitter for links to work)

NSFW 18+. some new faces, some returning ones, part one here.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

The Riddler:

If you beg for his attention while he’s working in his workshop, then he’ll leave you like this.

Secretly has a soft spot for bigger girls <3

He’s a classy guy, he loves lingerie

How he eats it after you stroke his ego

He likes you dripping and desperate for him

Honestly this is how I need him to fuck me

The Scarecrow:

What, you thought just because he used to be a professor, he’d be turned on by you dressing so crude? He’ll show you what he thinks

Edward is the closest thing he has to a friend, it would be rude for him not to share you with the riddler.

As a thank you for letting him have you, Edward gave you a present. Now you use it and send videos to Jonathan when he’s working <3

You help him get to sleep

Likes making you ride him

This but he’s wearing the scarecrow mask

Catwoman:

She gets a sick sense of pleasure when she seduces a woman whose in a relationship with a man

Takes you to expensive hotels just the fuck you in them

You told her and Harley that you wanted to be part of the Gotham City Sirens, but they said there was an entrance exam

Yeah, it doesn’t matter where you both are, she’ll just knock out anyone who stumbles upon you both

Breaks in to your house with her strap on under her suit so she can fuck you

Thank her for all the expensive gifts by getting on your knees

The Mad Hatter:

Once he found the toy under your bed, he knew he had to have you use it

Loves seeing you in such cute underwear

He also loves when you act all innocent, so he can feel like he’s corrupting you

How he treats his sweet Alice when you do what he says

And it helps when his Alice loves it as much as him

Though he likes when you take matters into your own hands

Deathstroke:

He owns plenty of handcuffs

If you try and ride him, this is how you’ll end up

Oh you’re wearing fishnets? Good luck

Where else should he cum, if not deep inside?

Yeah, he’s rough

But if it’s been a long day, he can be intimate too

Black Mask:

Makes you send videos like this all the time, the more embarrassing the dildo the better

What’s that? You don’t wanna do anal? Well then obviously you don’t want to be his best girl, do you?

You still have to look pretty, even when being punished

After coming back from a meeting

Unlike Scarecrow, he definitely isn’t shy about being into the whole schoolgirl outfit

As in incentive to his men, the lucky guy who earns him the most money that month gets front row seats to see this

Harley Quinn:

Harls doesn’t like to wait till you’re back from the club

She’s a threesome kinda girl

She loves your tits

Fuck her with the strap, so she can fuck you with the same one tomorrow <3

When you put her panties in her mouth, she came so quick

What happens when she invites you for a sleepover

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨

[hxney-lemcn]

Affections + First Kiss — General! Scarecrow, Riddler, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Catwoman x gn! reader

summery: affection and first kiss headcanons.

tw: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), mentions of toxic dynamics

a/n: I've never wrote headcanons for multiple characters in one thing before, so enjoy! I love them all.

wc: 2k

Master List

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Scarecrow

❥Jonathan wasn’t used to a kind touch. Being bullied growing up, being beaten by the bat. No, all he knew was the harsh touch of a fist. The relentless shoves. The purpling of bruises that always showed after. The red blood that would drip from his nose. The burning hatred that steadily grew towards those who wronged him.

❥So when you came into his life, he would flinch if you raised a hand. He would unconsciously back away. The warmth in his heart that you stirred was unusual to him, a feeling he’s never felt towards anyone. He was used to the bitterness after an interaction, not longing. 

❥You eased him into it. Only when you two started dating did he ever think twice about your touch. He knew you held back your affections. He watched you lift a hand up, only to bring it back down to your side. And to Jon, that meant the world. He felt relief when you didn’t push him into uncomfortable territory, and he respected you all the more for it.

❥Although a part of him wished you would hold him. Touch him. He wondered if your skin felt as soft as it looked. Though he also feared that your touch would sting, and the comfort you brought would be no more. No, he would never reach out first.

❥Starting out slow, he let you hold his shoulder. No matter how careful you’ve been for however long, you slipped slightly. It was a gesture not many think twice about. Holding onto someone's shoulder as you look over them, holding onto them for balance. It was only when you felt him tense under you, his ramblings pausing, that you realized your mistake. Yet, Jon had only reassured you that you did nothing wrong. 

❥Having realized that Jon seemed to open your touch, you continued. Lightly brushing your hands, shoulder touches, even just sitting closer. It was like you were single handedly rewiring Jon’s brain, teaching him that not all touch hurts. That he too deserves a kind hand. The flinching had dulled, and he would even look forward to you being near him. 

❥So when you finally got to kiss him? He was a dead man. You got him hook line and sinker. I hope you weren’t expecting to leave him any time soon, because after you opened him into a world of warm affection, he doesn’t want to let go. 

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Riddler

❥Touch is a big no no. Similar to Jonathan, Edward had been bullied from a young age. Teased and ridiculed, shoved and hit. If not from his peers, then from his own father. His world was cruel for as long as he could remember. In fact, his brain started to warp, perceiving the hits as a form of love, no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

❥Edward Nygma is a touch starved man. He longs for the comforts others seem to get so seamlessly. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t want anyone touching him. Tap his shoulder if you dare.

❥You were no different, at first. You quickly caught on to his distaste of touch when he reprimanded someone for getting a little too friendly with him. But you managed to weasel your way into his estranged heart. With how respectful and kind you were, he quickly found himself ensnared with your affection. Even hands free you managed to boost his ego and make him feel, should he dare say, loved for. You gave him praise that he had longed for, which earned you a seat right by his side.

❥It was also partly to keep a closer eye on you. Part of him preened at your praise, and another was weary. Why were you so kind? He was a well known criminal, he knew better than to just believe you were doing it out of the kindness of your heart. Y’know the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

❥I honestly don’t know how you deal with it. He always tries to catch you off guard with a riddle or puzzle. He pushes you away by ridiculing you and belittling you. Yet you won’t stop. You keep spilling his praises, and it’s so baffling to him. Yes, he is the smartest man in the world, but you managed to become a riddle. Good luck now.

❥When you first touched him, it was an innocent hug. He had managed to pull off a heist and got away from Batman without a scratch! Of course he had no doubts about his success, you didn’t either. When he got back to the hideout, you were clapping while singing his praises. Edward felt on top of the world, adrenaline rushing through his veins. When your arms wrapped around him, your scent clouding his thoughts, your warmth leaching into him, he found himself reciprocating.

❥Now, whether your dating or you’re just friends, it matters little to the green clad man. You had given him a taste of a touch he’s always longed for. And he realized that he’s more comfortable around you than he’d like to admit. He never reaches out first, but he’ll never turn you down if you want to hold his arm. 

❥His teasing towards you turns lighter, just as his heart feels. So when you finally seal the deal with a kiss, he’ll make sure you never slip through his fingers. 

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Harley Quinn

❥She will smother you with affection right out the bat. Hugs, hand holding, kisses, you name it. You don’t even have to date her for her to leave a smooch on your lips. Harley Quinn easily trusts people, and you’re no exception. She finds comfort in touch, so why should she deny herself it? She also finds it expresses her genuine affection for you in ways she couldn’t verbalize. 

❥If you don’t like PDA, please tell her right away. She doesn’t understand it, I mean why wouldn’t you want to show your love to the world? But she also doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so if you wanna keep it behind closed doors, she’ll try her best. But don’t be too surprised if she sneaks in a little smooch or hug if no one’s looking.

❥Harley Quinn is one of the most affectionate rogues out there. But it’s not always sunshine and rainbows with her. She had been in a seriously abusive relationship, and you have to help her remember that she doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around you. That no matter the argument, you won’t raise your hand to strike her. It takes her a long time to come out of that headspace, if ever. It’s a good thing you’re by her side to help coax her into healthier practices. 

❥If we want to get a little darker, Harley may try to treat you like the Joker treated her. It’s scary to see her go from bubbly to dark. Her features twisted into a wicked sneer as she asks that you’ll never leave her. That no matter what, you’ll always love her. During these moments, you gotta stand up for yourself. She’s trying to gain a sense of control she never felt in her previous relationship, and you have to make her snap out of it. When she comes to and realizes what she just did, the look of utter terror in her eyes is the most heart wrenching thing. She’ll sob, pleading that she didn’t mean to, that she never wanted you to go through that, that she’s terrified of becoming him.

❥Please hug her, kiss her, squeeze her gently. She loves it. All Harley wants is to be loved and to love, and getting affection shows her how genuine you are and is the biggest comfort for her. Feeling your warmth, feeling the softness of your skin, it brings her peace. 

❥The first time you made the first move to kiss Harley, she nearly did a backflip. Her little sugar plum made the first move! I hope you didn’t have anything planned, because Harley won’t let you go for the rest of the day.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Poison Ivy

❥I’m not sure how you weren’t just killed or turned into one of her goons. She’s not one for humanity. She keeps a sharp eye on those who dare tread into her territory. There’s no way to beat around it. She drugs you, finding out what your true intentions are. It has to be something she deems worthy enough to keep you around. She barely puts up with Harley as it is. 

❥Once you gain your free will again, you have to continuously prove your loyalty. Of course she can guarantee it herself if she has to, but you’ve managed to catch her eye. So prove your worth to her, prove that her interest in you isn’t just a mistake. It will take a long time. She’s been wronged one too many times, and she won’t make that mistake again.

❥Even if you manage to gain her trust, she won’t drop her walls around you. Though she’s a bit nicer. Ivy knows that a person works better with praise, but she also means it deep down. She doesn’t say what she doesn’t mean, so don’t take her words for granted. Not that you really can when her perfume scent always seems to cloud your senses. 

❥You let Ivy make the first move when it comes to touch. For a seductress, she won’t touch you if she doesn’t have to. Not to mention the toxins that fill her blood. Who knew if one tap on her shoulder meant your certain doom…but maybe that was a bit of the thrill you loved when being by her side. Though you’ve seemed to find a small soft spot in her heart, right next to Harley Quinn. She wouldn’t tell you that though, best to leave you on your toes lest you get too comfortable. 

❥After going so long without a single touch from the green goddess, when she started playing with your hair, you found yourself seizing up. Ivy brushed her fingers through it so gently, yet all you could wonder is if it was finally over. If she grew bored of you, or if she started to find you bothersome. But her gentle reassurances lulled you. Her warm voice and gentle hands relaxed you. It was then that you realized her affections for you ran deeper than she led on.

❥You’re first kiss was electrifying. That underlying thrill that your life was held in her hands. That she killed men with the very action she committed tenderly with you. Yet deep down you knew she wouldn’t hurt you.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Catwoman 

❥It's not easy catching her attention. She won’t settle for less than perfection. She is catwoman after all, she has a reputation to uphold. So when she looked at you, and I mean really looked at you, she decided why not have a little fun? Whether you’re a villain, anti-hero, vigilante, or civilian, she’ll take time out of her busy schedule to drop by.

❥She likes to give mixed signals. It keeps you far enough for her to feel in control, yet it also satiates her hunger. She’ll lean in real close, only to grab something from behind you type of beat. She loves to watch you become a stuttering mess, but she doesn’t mind if you banter back. It’s all a part of the fun.

❥No matter how close you seem to get, you’re somehow still a mile away from Selina. She slips away from your affection without you even realizing it. She always turns the moment into a suggestive one. If she left it tender, then it would be too real. It takes time for her to warm up to you and really trust you.

❥If anything, the first kiss happens before anything truly tender. The kiss catches you both off guard, neither sure who started it. Selina tries to wrap it into something that doesn’t make her heart stutter. Tries to turn it suggestively like she always does, but with the way you tenderly hold her cheeks, she feels herself melt. Finally, she succumbs to these feelings you managed to stir within her, and she isn’t sure if she wants to thank you or curse you out. Maybe she’ll settle for a dinner, tab on you of course.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Who fell first and who fell harder

Joker: You fell first and harder

Harley Quinn: She fell first and harder

Catwoman: She fell first and harder

Riddler: He fell first but you fell harder

Penguin: He fell first and harder

Scarecrow: You fell first but he fell harder

Deathstroke: You fell first and harder

Bane: He fell first but you fell harder

Mr Freeze: He fell first and harder

Two-Face: He fell first but you fell harder

Poison Ivy: You fell first but she fell harder

Killer Croc: You fell first and harder

[greenglowinspooks]

Alrighty fellas time for another one

(DPxDC) Batman Rogues ranked based on how good at parenting Danny (and co.) they would be

—

Would probably actually be able to step up and be (relatively) good parents: The Penguin, Mr. Freeze.

They would have EXTREMELY different dynamics with Danny, but I think they could figure it out.

The Penguin would definitely only take in Danny to improve his reputation, and probably so that he could monopolize the use of a new meta’s abilities. (And perhaps to study him)

However, I think that attitude would last for at the absolute most a month, probably closer to two weeks, before he genuinely bonded with him. He’s like the dad who says he doesn’t want a pet, and then in a week they’re inseparable.

He’s not a good person, but I think he could probably end up being an awesome fucking dad. Also, there’s no way in hell anyone would mess with Danny. Not even close. If he found out Danny was getting bullied he’d ruin the bully’s fucking life.

He wouldn’t directly throw hands with a child, sure, but that’s only because it would look bad. He would, however, completely destroy their family’s careers and force them to leave Gotham out of shame.

Mr. Freeze is only a rogue because of his wife. Like, that’s it. He only wants (or wanted, depending on the version) for his wife to be cured and to live happily with her again. All of this is for her, either to help her or to avenge her.

That’s to say that yeah, if Danny managed to weasel his way into his heart, he would have a place with him forever.

He’d probably only interact with him at first because of the ice powers, but if Danny did manage to get closer to him (that’s a pretty big if) I think he’d do fucking anything for him, just like his wife.

He would raze the GiW to the ground for his boy.

They’d do alright probably. Nothing special, but it’d work out ok: Scarecrow, Ivy & Harley, Two-Face, Killer Croc.

Scarecrow is, funnily enough, not that bad. Like, is he genuinely deranged? Yes. Is he murderous and cruel? Yes. Does he have a moral compass that would absolutely support taking care of a child? Yes.

He’s been shown multiple times to genuinely care for people, even if it’s in his own way. Like, yeah, maybe fear-gas-themed murder and torture is a bit far sometimes, but it’s what he knows how to do.

Like, would he know how to take care of a kid? Hell no. But he does have a pretty good list of what not to do, courtesy of his own childhood, so he’d have a pretty alright start.

Ivy and Harley aren’t rated higher because I just don’t think they’d really be responsible enough for a child. I don’t doubt that they’d be able to love Danny, nor that they love each other, but they’re not very stable, and they don’t have a very good grasp on normalcy.

Like, they’d be incredibly cool aunts, or family friends, or something. I just don’t think that they’d do well being the sole guardians of a child or teenager.

I can’t stress this enough, I think they would genuinely love having Danny with all their hearts. I just don’t think that love alone is enough.

Avoiding that genuinely depressing thought, I think Two-Face would similarly be an awesome uncle to have, but wouldn’t do well at the actual “parenting” thing.

Like, he could keep a kid alive no problem, and he’d probably be awesome to have as a legal guardian and stuff, but there’s no way in hell he’d be able to keep Danny in line, for the sole reason of not really seeing a reason to.

However, if he got put in Arkham, he’d 100% not be above guilt-tripping Bruce into taking Danny in, so he does have backup options.

Killer Croc would be an awesome friend to Danny, but that man is in no way capable of being a parent.

He’s got a pretty short temper, and Danny is a little shit. There’d definitely be fighting. A lot of fighting. Croc still gets some points though because he’s a decent guy and I don’t doubt that he’d be willing to get help from the other rogues or even Batman should he need it.

Shouldn’t be trusted to keep a gerbil alive, yet are somehow still better at this than Maddie and Jack: The Riddler, Solomon Grundy

The Riddler is a childish, egotistical asshole with a bit of a god complex and a truckload of emotional baggage.

That being said, he’d still do better than Danny’s actual parents.

Partly because the bar is so low.

Like yeah, there’d be a lot of arguing, but I don’t think that he’d actually ever fight fight with Danny, mostly because he’d feel like he was turning into his father.

For the most part he’d be at the same level as Scarecrow or Killer Croc, I just put him lower because I think he’d forget to feed Danny sometimes. Still not as bad as the food coming alive to attack him though.

Solomon Grundy is pretty similar to Killer Croc in terms of how I think he and Danny would get along, I just think he’d be much worse at getting the things Danny needs to live and be happy.

He’d be cool as a weird uncle, or a friend, but he’d be pretty awful at being an actual parent.

The house is on fire, god is dead: Mad Hatter, Ra’s Al Ghul

Mad Hatter would have UNIMAGINABLE levels of beef with Danny. He would unironically throw hands with a child.

That being said, I think he’d genuinely like Danny.

Wouldn’t make up for anything, but I do think he’d at least not hate him.

Ra’s would be funny as hell no matter what.

He’d ALSO have unimaginable beef with Danny, but for entirely different reasons. He would spend all his time trying to convince Danny to become a member of the LOA and also to turn him fully immortal. Danny would buy him a “world’s okayest dad” mug and “I’m not the dad who stepped up” shirt. They would try to beat each other to death over Damian.

Danny would still probably choose him over Vlad in a heartbeat.

Getting dissected would have unironically been a better option: Joker

Your homework today is to watch Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.

Because I know you won’t, I’m just gonna tell you that Joker has done some MK Ultra shit to a child before in order to mold it into a mini version of himself, and he’d absolutely do it again.

One of them would absolutely end up dead, and considering their track records, I’m not so sure it would be Joker.

[le-sluagh]

#13 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Joker: So, what’s your type?

Lex Luthor: Green eyes, green hair, crazy, oblivious, has a good sense of humor sometimes.

Joker: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Lex Luthor: Did I mention oblivious?

Joker: Yeah, why?

Lex Luthor: Okay, just making sure.

*****

Riddler: I am in charge of this disaster!

Scarecrow: I have a name, you know.

*****

Joker: How are you today?

Two Face: Please don’t make me think about my life.

*****

Harley Quinn, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Poison Ivy, confused: I mean, this is my lair, so yeah.

*****

Scarecrow: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Mad Hatter: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

*****

Riddler: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

*****

Scarecrow: I love murder mysteries!

Bane, trying to impress him: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

*****

*talking on the phone*

Mad Hatter: Remember how I said that March Harriet and I were going to have a calm night out for once?

Riddler: Yeah…

Mad Hatter: Well, we’re in jail.

Riddler: *hangs up*

*****

Harley Quinn: You're ignoring all your problems.

Two Face: I know.

Harley Quinn: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism?

Two Face: I'm ignoring that fact as well.

Harley Quinn:

*****

Catwoman: Damn, Riddler, are you secretly cool?

Riddler: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Catwoman: I do not.

[yumikittyproducoes]

So... I accidentally forgot to private my Batjokes playlist and some people saw it*facepalm*, so I'm just gonna share all playlist:

Batjokes: (Grunge, Rock and oldies showtunes)

Riddlebird/Nygmabbelpot: (Multiple genres, mostly modern songs)

Harlivy: (Pop and queer girlypop anthems)

Catwoman/Selina Kyle: (Jazz and Sexy showtunes)

HatterCrow: (Whimsical tunes, creepy music and phonk)

[sl-newsie]

Behind Masks (Dr. Jonathon Crane x OC) Masterlist

In an insane world it is the sane who are crazy. A young psychiatrist from Metropolis is sent to Gotham and falsely imprisoned in Arkham Asylum. Fear is a curious thing. Will meeting Arkham's fear-obsessed chief psychiatrist help open her mind?

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/744533203734429696/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-1?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/744620079850864640/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-2?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/744709827570302976/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-3-new?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/744889387367727104/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-4-test?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/745619873842020352/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-5?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/746343243310055424/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-6?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/747410423369924608/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-7?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/749591125963243520/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-8?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/750236634870611968/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-9?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/750557047295262720/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-10-a?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/754049898907926528/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-11?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/755094934323855360/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-12?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/756582979452715008/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-13?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/757853556977041408/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-14?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/758126761332621312/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-15?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/759083557171970048/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-16?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/759929979540815872/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-17-a?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/760026625737900032/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-18-the?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/760181029790253056/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-19-dig?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/760297976593842176/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-20-is?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/760930251147706368/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-21

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/763830435530915840/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-22?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/764376511032803328/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-23?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sl-newsie/764917097429188608/behind-masks-dr-jonathon-crane-x-oc-ch-24?source=share

[ilovelosermen69]

Who told batman villains they could be so hot?

[dead-dog-dont-eat]

*Everyone in Bruce Wayne's Manor after Joker gets married to Bruce*

Scarecrow: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Joker: ... N-No...

Joker, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Scarecrow, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Two-Face: I see a-

Joker, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Scarecrow: Oh, well I-

Joker: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Joker, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Bane: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Riddler: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Joker: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Joker: I am a man who owns four ovens...

Joker, louder and way too happy: I am a man... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Joker: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Catwoman, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Joker:

Scarecrow: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Joker:

Joker, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS!

[cyberfox123]

Cyberfox X Scarecrow

More Cyberfox x Scarecrow. 🥰 Showing some of her other relationships in the Batman the animated series. She is close friends with Harley and Ivy. As well as Catwoman, the cat is Isis Catwomans pet. And again are little crow Nightmare. 😊

[widowsliver]

heyy! starting some requests to build myself up into writing fanfic again, as spicy or unspicy as you want, minus anything that goes against, you know - laws and morals. all for fem!r or nb!r, and apologies if I don’t get around to it.

marvel

natasha romanoff

yelena belova

kate bishop

logan howlett

loki

felicia hardy

dc

selina kyle

pamela isley

jonathan crane

here’s my ao3 to check out previous work :)

[random-daisies]

no more danny gets adopted by the batfamily

no no no more

danny will now be exclusively adopted by the gotham rouge gallery and they will have a wonderful time causing absolute chaos for the bats and birds with his funky cooky fam

[hxney-lemcn]

Fake Dating — General! Scarecrow, Riddler, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Catwoman x gn! reader

summery: an excuse to pretend to date the rogues (some scenarios go better than others)

tw: Harassment, bad intentions (scarecrow), toxic ex

a/n: do some of these count as fake dating? It's more like kissing to throw someone off but same deal ig.

wc: 2.2k

Master List

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Scarecrow

❥Your stupid boss made you stay back late. They didn’t care that it was dangerous at night, and you had to walk home. No, only work came first, safety was barely a thought. You were rightfully pissed, and the thought of quitting briefly fluttered through your mind. 

❥Which led to your current predicament. The streets of Gotham were dark as you walked along the wet pavements. Your paranoia was proved correct when a catcall was heard from behind you. You kept walking, hoping that ignoring them would deter their unwanted advances. You heard two more pairs of footsteps fall in sync with your own. 

❥Your heart started beating faster, eyes frantically looking for a way out. You were on a main street, but the people of Gotham don’t look twice when someone needs help. The men continued to harass you as you walked faster. You didn’t want to lead them to where you live, but nowhere was open this late at night.

❥That’s when you saw him. You didn’t know who he was, but so far he was better than the men behind you. It was a 50/50 chance that he was gonna kill you. So you jogged up to him, a fake smile on your lips as you greeted him, “Hey…love.”

❥When Jonathan had gone out for some fresh air, the last thing he expecting was someone coming up to him and calling him…love. Remind him that perhaps staying in his lab was better than taking a break. Jon stared at you like you had two heads, but the way your breath was rapid, your pupils constricted, and your eyes kept glancing behind you. You were scared, something he found amusing. Eyes trailing behind you, two drunken men leaned against a wall, seemingly waiting for you to be alone again. 

❥Jon wasn’t a good man, he found the fact you ended up looking to the master of fear for help hilarious, but he didn’t let that show on his face. You clearly didn’t know who he was, otherwise you would’ve taken the two drunken idiots. He could’ve had his fun, deny you help and watch as your fear grew. Hell, he could’ve taken you in for his own heinous experiments, but there was something about you that made him reconsider. Perhaps it was the fact you trusted him (at least enough that you weren’t just running away), or maybe it was a tinge of selfishness. He wanted to be the cause of your fear, not some lowlifes.

❥”Hello…dear,” Jon replied back awkwardly. He wasn’t used to helping people, less so treating a stranger like a loved one. You felt your body relax when the stranger complied. Not to mention the fact that he looked intimidating. He was outrageously tall and his expression was grim. The two men groaned loudly, crying out about maybe next time. 

❥For some reason, that rubbed Jon the wrong way. You weren’t his, not in any way, he didn’t even know your name! But for some damned reason, he didn’t like the thought of those two coming back to haunt you. He was supposed to be the one who haunted people's nightmares, not some nobodies. It was a matter of pride. And so he walked over to the two men, hand fiddling with the new fear toxin he had created. It was a dust, that once ingested, it would take immediate effect. He needed some test subjects for it anyway.

❥You felt your blood drain at the sight of your two harassers start screaming as the stranger blew an orange dust at them. No, he was no stranger, he was the notorious Scarecrow, and when he turned back around, he felt utter delight at the fear that shone through your eyes.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Riddler

❥It was hard focusing on the mechanical work when Eddie wouldn’t stop talking. When his fans found out you were his assistant, they blew up, drawing art and speculating about your relationship. You’ve been a part of fandoms before, so you didn’t think much of it. But seeing fanart of you and Eddie kissing did take a bit of a toll on your mental health. 

❥Eddie had a harder time ignoring it, which made it harder for you to ignore it. Whenever he would look himself up, you seemed to pop up with him. It irritated him greatly. I mean he was supposed to be the one getting all the praise and attention, not you. And the fact that they put you on a pedestal right next to him? Were they even really his fans? You were a mere assistant, he could swap you out for anyone! 

❥He’s read multiple fanfics of you two. He would never admit it. He’d also deny how they would make his heart pitter patter like an absolute sap. You bet your ass you walked in on him one time, laying on his stomach, feet kicking in the air as the fanfic he read concluded with the two of you kissing. He totally has an alt account that likes and shares all the stories he really thinks make him shine. 

❥”Maybe if we pretended to date they’d get off our backs,” You offered. It was absolutely ridiculous and you knew it, but you’d do anything to get some work done in peace. Eddie scoffed, looking at you with a slight sneer. Really, how idiotic could you get? Why should he give those morons what they want? Absolutely not.

❥Yeah he caved pretty quickly. There was no other reason than to quench the masses. Nope. Nada. Why would he want to date you? He’s a man of intellect, not emotion. Mhm. Totally. And when he went live one day (obviously he covered his tracks so no one could find his location), and when you kissed his cheek on said live, the masses went crazy. In fact, your little plan had the opposite effect.

❥Eddie ate up all the attention you were bringing him. The revelation blew up on social media (much to Batman’s disarray). This caused Eddie to be even more annoying, and you found yourself completing even less work than before. He’d stop you to show how well someone drew him, he showed you praise, that was meant for you both, but twisted it to be about him only. He was a menace, but he was a charming menace. 

❥The line between reality and fake blurred between you both. Now your role as assistant included showering Eddie with affection, on and off camera. You’d huff and puff about it, putting on a show of how much you didn’t want to kiss his cheek goodbye if you left the hideout, but deep down you loved it. No one was as close to the green clad man as you had become, and you felt a sense of pride that you had managed to overcome those barriers. Maybe you should thank your fans for aggressively shipping the two of you.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Harley Quinn

❥You found yourself dreading friend night. You and your friends would take time out of your busy schedules and catch up. Whether it would be about work, dating life, or any wrong doings you encountered. It was all fun…until they all started dating. Of course you were happy for them, that they were happy with their partners and wanted everyone to meet them. But that made you feel more of an outsider. 

❥You frowned as the group chat bounced with more and more texts. You all were going to hang out tonight, and you were the last one to have a partner to bring with. Harley had noticed that your lovely smile was gone, so she asked about it. When you explained the situation to her she looked dumbfounded. “I’ll just go as your partner then, silly!”

❥That’s how you found yourself nearly sitting in Harley Quinn's lap during karaoke. Some of your friends were off put by the fact that Harley freaking Quinn was there, but the others welcomed her with open arms. She was loud, rambunctious, and never failed to sing loud and proud, even if she didn’t know the song. She also was being overly affectionate…well if she wasn’t already.

❥When she noticed one of your friends and their partner getting lovey dovey, she’d lean over and give you a kiss with a loud ‘mwah’. She held onto you tightly the entire night, boasting about how great you were and she was lucky you picked her. It was nice, but it felt bittersweet. She wasn’t saying that as your lover, she was saying that so your friends bought the story. 

❥As the night finished, you found yourself in a worse place than you started. Bringing Harley made you realize just what you were missing. But Harley was a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it. So as you waved goodbye to all your friends, she wrapped her arms around your waist, leaning her head on your shoulder. “How about we do this for reals?” 

❥Did you really think she’d let the night end there?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Poison Ivy

❥You glared at your phone. They just wouldn’t leave you alone. You had blocked them from everything, and they still managed to contact you. It was over between the two of you but they couldn’t get the hint. No, it wasn’t even a hint anymore. You were practically screaming into their face that you were over them. 

❥It went too far when they had reached out to you via your address. Even worse, you were having a day in with Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy. Even worse than that? They had sent you a bouquet of red roses. Ivy frowned from where she sat, eyeing the vase with disdain. You yourself felt very similarly. 

❥You didn’t even notice when Ivy walked up to you, taking the card that was imbedded in the dead flowers. Her expression continued to sour as she read the note. “You have quite the taste,” She murmured, tossing the card into the bin. “That taste has changed quite a while ago,” You replied back, unsure what to do with the flowers. 

❥Ivy asked you to explain. So you told her about your previous relationship, how you ended things, and how they seemed to cling to you desperately still. She only let out a small ‘tsk’. She wasn’t jealous, no. She had no reason to be. She had the world at her fingertips. She could also tell when someone was lying, and you were telling the truth. 

❥”Show them you moved on,” Ivy offered, taking a seat on the couch once more. You placed the flowers on a table, you’ll decide what to do with them later. You asked her how you could do that when that’s all you’ve been trying to do. She beckoned you closer, then grabbed your phone. Unlocking it, she pulled you closer into her, causing you to fall onto the couch. Then, she brought your face towards her and pressed your lips together. You felt like your problems vanished in an instant, unaware of the photo Ivy took. Then she pulled away, finding the unwanted admirer of yours quickly and sent the photo. 

❥You watched with slight terror, only for Ivy to shut your phone off. If your ex was truly smart, they’d realize the woman you’re kissing in that photo was Poison Ivy, and that if they didn’t back off she wouldn’t take it lightly. But who knew, they were never the smart type. And you couldn’t help but long for more than just the taste Ivy had given you, your ex a distant memory.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Catwoman

❥Catwoman ran solo, everyone knew that. She worked best on her own. So when she asked you to accompany her on one of her heists, you did a double take. When you had asked her to clarify, she only winked. Oh how you hated how she had you wrapped around her pinky finger, but that’s how she likes them. She also promised a cut, which was more than enough to entice you.

❥She had you on watch guard. Not too bad you suppose. It wasn’t until the jewelry stores’ security alarm went off that you felt yourself double thinking this. You’d never leave Selina behind, but the thought of getting caught made your blood pump faster. You glanced around for witnesses, and only watched as people scuttled away. An alarm blaring was never a good sign, especially in Gotham. 

❥Selina slinked down, civilian attire helping her blend in. You furrowed your eyebrows, not sure how she normally stole, but this seemed out of the ordinary. Selina pulled you away into the alley. Before you could ask her what the plan was, her lips were on yours. You gasped in surprise, sirens starting to ring out. Even scarier was the fact that a dark shadow overpassed you both. 

❥Although, it was hard to think when she held you, when her lips pushed into yours so fervently. But you knew who she really was hiding from this time. Batman passed over, not even giving you both a second thought. Selina pulled away, she sent you a wink before sashaying away. You followed quickly, trying to ignore the way your heart pounded faster.

❥”If you’re really good, you might see more of those in your future,” Selina smirked.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Your relationship trope

Joker: 

Enemies/Lovers on sight.

God X Follower

Gremlin X Sunshine.

Rowdy delinquent X Sweet dork.

Harley Quinn: 

Chaotic badass X Sweet badass.

Quiet listener X Lord always talking.

Aggressively supportive.

Ultimate mom friend X Feral gremlin.

Catwoman: 

Each other's impulse control.

Loves talking X Loves listening

Crazy moron X Intelligent moronsexual.

Parents without kids.

Riddler: 

Tall angry bastard X Short actual sunshine.

Partner in crimes that are polar opposites.

Dumbass X That's my dumbass.

Dense X Dense.

Penguin: 

Angry and protective X Soft and concerned.

Asshole X Tired of it

Please stop X Too much energy.

Chaotic with a soft spot X Normal but Chaos enabler.

Scarecrow: 

Sweet baby X Litteral demon.

Overthinker X Touchy drama queen.

Grumpy X Sunshine.

They probably hate me X In love just terrible at showing it.

Deathstroke: 

Stoic and serious X Chill.

Feral dumbass X Voice of reason.

Ray of sunshine X Touch them and die.

Evil X Reason they haven't destroyed the world yet.

Bane: 

Low maintenance X High energy.

Big evil bastard X Smitten idiot.

Tall X Small.

Pessimist X Optimist.

Mr. Freeze: 

Morticia and Gomez.

Pure-heated bean X Cynical goblin.

Super hyper and loud X Loves them anyway.

Has a crush X Doesn't notice.

Two-Face: 

Edgy baby X Soft bastard.

Idiot X Loves their Idiots.

Flirty X Flustered.

Quiet X Bubbly.

Poison Ivy: 

Mutual pining idiots.

Confident flirt X Expert at not taking the hint.

Sun X Moon.

Cinnabun X Hot-head.

Killer Croc: 

Monster X Monster fucker

Cinnamon roll X Guard dog.

Hand warm X Hand cold.

Cluess as fuck X Bad at expressing emotions.